Ma'am, sticking wet tissue paper on your face isn't the same as wearing a facemask... Ahhh!

Why do some people think they sing very well, when they don't?

Great employees may be a little... unusual? http://read.bi/qT18yQ

10 Social Media Cartoons Guaranteed to Make You Smile http://bit.ly/nj1cGn

Free $5 Guardian Voucher http://on.fb.me/r52rn7

When will ppl learn to stop feeding trolls? There are debates not worth losing sleep over

Wonder why some people don't seem to get the flu? http://ping.fm/8dOjp

Woman paid $168 for a block of wood she thought was an iPad http://bit.ly/qC6nrS

To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so

Liquid Gold? The Breast Milk Market http://bit.ly/qCTbi4

How to make a formal apology. http://bit.ly/nuKcgR (Print it out and use it)

The Ultimate Google+ Cheat Sheet http://bit.ly/pGBx67

Ever thought of sleeping in an isolation tank à la Daredevil? http://bit.ly/oHwlQF

What's your favourite ice cream flavour at Udders? Sooo many!

Steve Jobs’s Biological Father regrets giving up son for adoption http://bit.ly/p9it6t

$33 (U.P: $190) for a 2hr PADI Scuba diving certification course. http://bit.ly/qmF3nc (Question: Would you go?)

Want more followers? Some mistakes to avoid http://bit.ly/pdlJE7 (via Robert Scoble)

Are you happier marrying a rich man? http://bit.ly/pBrGuC

I've been working very hard, almost 24/7! 24 hours a week, 7 months a year...

A child-sized 20kg Giant Frog? http://bit.ly/mTyU5B (Sounds fishy...)

Afterworld visit in "Hell Tour" in Penang http://bit.ly/p8Ljz5

I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me...

Anyone seen the new Facebook sidebar yet? http://bit.ly/nlXdrU (It's called the Ticker)

Should an Alternative Voting system be used? http://bit.ly/p8CFDk (SGClub Forum)

I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative

I turned my iPhone on to “Airplane Mode” & threw it up into the air. Worst Transformer Ever!

Decided to go with Home Favourite's Black Durian mooncakes http://bit.ly/o9U86G What about you?

Lucy analyzes Charlie Brown http://bit.ly/qeuyhT

A mother’s menu consists of two choices: Take it or leave it

I get an idea, & then I find someone has already implemented it. How fast has world the become?

When I get depressed, I cut myself... a big slice of cheesecake

Some people are wise, some are other-wise

Finally caught 127 Hours. Harrowing experience...

Diplomacy is telling someone to go to Hell such that they look forward to taking the trip

It's amazing how wires & cables will spontaneously tie themselves in knots. I laid them out nicely... What happened?

Bejewelled 2 (iPhone) is free?! NOooo!!!

It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats

Justin Bieber told me to never say never – until I realised he broke his own rule!

(overheard) Inside me is a thin person trying to get out… but she has trouble being heard thr all the fat

Why so cynical? Today we have not just 2 choices, but 4! Use your vote, & your brain wisely

While everybody was Kung-Fu fighting, someone was slacking by writing a song abt Kung-Fu Fighting...

The great part about joining the Pay & Pay is that you pay yourself

The enemy of my enemy is my...

Spilleng iz mi bezt zubjekt

Should we even consider a reluctant presidential candidate?

So many Snowskin mooncakes! So little time. Which one, which one...?

Politicians want to be judged by their personalities, not their character or actions

A truthful man doesn’t need a good memory, but a liar does

Wonders why there's no egg in eggplants and no ham in hamburgers?

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute... forget the fruit

When your kids grow up & ask where all "their" money went, just show them the vacation videos

Do something you love or love the work you do? Hmmm

A free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

I'm so smurfed. Going to smurf now. Smurf ya later!

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television

A dissonance b/w the language of national unity by the PM & the actions of the HDB & PA http://bit.ly/mSxHXu

Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff

Which durian mooncake??? Goodwood Park, Kia Hiang, Four Seasons, Peony Jade, Majestic Restaurant or Home's Favorite?

Alright people, let's move it. You heard The Man!

Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls

People who think they know everything upset those of us who do...

The obscure we see eventually, the completely apparent takes a little longer

Everything must go

Don’t worry about what people think; they don’t do it very often

It's astounding how much intelligence, time & money are used to prove/disprove nonsense

You catch more flies with honey alright, but what do you want to do with all them flies?!

It is okay to be ignorant in some areas, but some people abuse the privilege

How do you deal with someone who takes their work problems home?

Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity

My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it

The difference between men and boys is the price of their toys

Bubble Tea sounds nicer than Mighty Ball/Breast Tea, even though it's rather inaccurate

What do u do when the only one who can make u stop crying is the one who made you cry?

Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die

Never judge someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. By that time, they’ll be a mile away & barefoot

Buffet question: Do you bring the buffet to your table, or finish up one plate before you go for the next round?

By what age should you know what you want to do with your life?

Just say NO to negativity!

We judge others by their behavior. We judge ourselves by our intentions. Ian Percy

Do fighting siblings end up liking each other, or do they never stop fighting?

Sharing money is what gives it its value. Elvis

Can a man and a woman (both single) ever just be friends?

When all's said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

If flattery gets you nowhere, try bribery

lol! Just heard this: PRC means Please Respect CURRY!!!

The longer the title the less important the job

How does Darth Vader breathe and talk at the same time?

Why is it called lipstick if it always comes off?

Asking dumb questions is easier than correcting dumb mistakes

"Govt can do less, SGeans can do more" & still be the "servant of the people" Why not pay yourselves less too?

I thought I was tall until... 1.72m is tall, isn't it?

Peace or progress?

If your boss gives you 2 contradictory orders, what do you do? Obey them both

Does Katong laksa count as curry? If it is, I love curry!

Do someone a favor and it becomes your job

A friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg even though you're slightly cracked.

People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care

Incompetence knows no barriers of time or place

If at first you don't succeed, you'll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn't succeed either

You're really stressed if you wake up screaming & realise you haven't fallen asleep yet

A friend will help you move. A GOOD friend is one who'll help you move... a dead body

Rise of the Apes was surprisingly good. Just be wary of apes who play chess

Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing

Everything is edible, but some things are only edible once

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door

Talk is cheap because the supply exceeds demand

Missing the "Fun Pack Song" at NDP2011 :P

Dogs have masters, but cats have servants

Money talks... but all mine ever says is good-bye

You know ur children are growing up when they stop asking u where they came from & refuse to tell u where they're going

Whoever coined the phrase "quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one

My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right...

Don't feel sad, don't feel blue... Frankenstein was ugly too

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity

Happy to be at the Festival of Praise #FOP2011 

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't

Ok, when people are whining on-and-on about their problems, they don't really want advice or help, right?

One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people

If diamonds are a girl's best friend and dogs are a man's, who's really the dumber sex again?

Let's raise our hearts, hands, spirits and voices tonight at the Singapore Indoor Stadium #FOP2011

http://bit.ly/o16KPg $160 for a beautiful lutino cockatiel. Should I keep one?

Learn a lesson from the weather: It pays no attention whatsoever to criticism

To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girlfriends.

There are 2 kinds of people who don’t say much: those who are quiet & those who talk a lot

WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing... Do NOT attempt it

A committee is twelve men delegating the work to one man

Was thinking how I should get HP to cover my data recovery costs. After all my harddisk was fine when I sent it in for repairs...

An open foe may prove a curse, but a pretended friend is worse. John Gay via @iam_chi @rlalita @IamPramit @LUKIKA

There are 2 types of friends: those who are around when you need them, & those who are around when they need you.

Anyone here who does data recovery services in Singapore? Or any recommendations?

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody is there to appreciate it.

RT @furryphotos: Hansel and Gretel, Mongrel puppies on the blog! http://ping.fm/JOKe2 Just too cute!

Facts of life: no one actually listens to you... until the moment you fart

I don't have a beer gut okay! It's a protective covering for my rock hard abs

To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential

What a cold wet windy day, reminds me of winter in Sydney. Time for a chocolate hug mug

I used to be indecisive, now I'm not so sure.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

How is it that just 1 careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?!

Women may not hit harder, but they sure know how to hit lower (where it hurts)

Decided to stick with Echofon for Twitter on my iPhone. Tweetdeck seems to use up the API call very rapidly

If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

The tooth fairy teaches children that they can sell body parts for money

Now you can make your own fake eggs http://bit.ly/pE5aH2

There are 3 kinds of ppl: some learn by reading, others by observation. The rest learn by touching the electric fence

Just hate the Twitter API call limit, looks like I can't use half the Twitter clients for iPhone